An Evening With Auntie Ina

Last night I got to spend some quality family time with Auntie.

Ok, it was from far, far away in the Mezzanine and we didn't actually talk. I suppose we could have if I was bold enough to go to one of the microphones to ask her a question, but I wasn't. Despite the fact that I had SO many things to ask her, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Especially after poor Auntie was blindsided by some stupid woman who asked her why she didn't have any children. Thankfully Ina answered with a "Thaaaats a very personal question!" The audience exploded with applause and I am guessing that the only reason no one spit on or tripped the questioner was because we were all a civilized bunch of middle aged ladies who would never do such things outside of our own minds! Auntie followed up with "I don't have children and I am happy with my life the way it is!" Good for her. Besides, she can borrow me if she needs one. I even come with an adorable grandchild to spoil.

Overall it was a fun night. Mostly because my best friend and I got a night away from our mom/wife routine. We usually spend the entire time laughing, and Auntie provided for some great punchlines that night. I'll spare you the sordid details, because some things just need to stay between friends!

We arrived at the Bushnell Theater in Hartford and were immediately laughing at the fact that there were close to two thousand middle aged women there, some clutching their cookbooks like they were the Bible. I suppose in our minds we are still 22 years old, but the only thing separating us from them was the fact that we didn't bring our cookbooks with us!

Our seats were WAY back in the Mezzanine but we had a clear view of the stage. It was arranged with two overstuffed chairs and a small table with flowers in-between them. Kind of like an Oprah set. The moderator came out to introduce Ina and we could tell within sixty seconds that this woman was a real dingbat. I have no idea what she as wearing, but from where we were it looked like leggings and a sweater purchased at the flea market. Interesting choice. If you know Auntie, then you shouldn't be surprised by what she was wearing. Black slacks, black button down. Typical Ina uniform. She acknowledged her fashion deficits by sharing the information that she mistakenly went to school for Fashion Design....and followed that statement up with a "Come on, I mean look at me....!"

The moderator asked a series of questions that I now know were mostly repeated at all of Auntie's appearances. She seemed to use the same punchlines at all of them. Auntie was in control and gave as much information as she was comfortable giving. This doesn't surprise me, but I was shocked that she let people ask questions that she did not have "cleared" by her assistant. Fortunately there was only one loose cannon that night. The rest were all Ina-worshippers who groveled at her feet.

Amongst the two thousand women were a few men. Directly behind us were two older married couples that made us feel like we were watching a show in Boca Raton. Lots of loud, running commentary. Effusive clapping, laughter, etc. It was like having our parents sitting behind us.

I did not learn much about Ina that I didn't already know, but it was fun to see her live and in person. She certainly giggles a whole lot, just like she does on the show. After every sentence.

She also told us how it takes a day and a half to tape one 22 minute episode. When the moderator asked if she's had any "fails" while taping, Ina said that she was having difficulty carving a duck, and a word that rhymed with "duck" may have slipped out. I knew it! I feel so much better knowing Auntie can drop a good F-bomb like the rest of us! Ina also said that she tests her recipes at least 20 times, including having her assistant cook it while she watches. She also claims to wash her own dishes, but I call bullshit on that one.

Of course she mentioned how important it was to use "good" ingredients

She also said that when she entertains she makes a flow chart of her plans for the evening so she can refer to that and keep herself organized. While I couldn't find a picture of one, I did find this hilarious one (and the previous photos) over at www.foodnetworkhumor.com that explains how an episode of Barefoot Contessa is made.

Other little tidbits included info about her cookbook writing process, that it takes two years to complete and she is working on the next one. She plans on doing this until they "drag her out by her feet" and that it drives her crazy when the dishwasher is loaded the wrong way it drives her crazy. I was disappointed in all of the applause and excitement she received when she talked up her line of frozen slop. I wanted to stand up and yell, "Nooooooo!" but I held back. I refused to clap, though. So there.

Auntie said that when she first got married she got the Julia Child Mastering The Art of French Cooking, and cooked her way through that. When I first got married, I got the Barefoot Contessa Book. So I guess that makes Ina my Julia. I'll take her, giggles, frozen slop, and all. Now off to the kitchen...

Lotsa Lotsa Matzo

The calendar is telling me it is time to take a short break from Auntie Ina.

Tonight is the first night of Passover. I won't get into a history lesson, for that you can watch The Prince of Egypt, or The Ten Commandments. But I will give an extremely brief culinary description as to why there is no leavened bread. The Passover story says that the slaves had no time for their bread to rise as they were fleeing Egypt and that is how they ended up with the cracker-type matzo that we know today. So, observant Jews refrain from eating anything leavened for the eight days of Passover. The end.

Have you fallen asleep from boredom yet?

When I was a young girl back in the olden days, we did not have much in the way of ready to eat Passover products. Matzo, the weird chocolate covered marshmallow twist and jelly ring candies, jarred gefilte fish, canned macaroons, soup nuts (a weird, puffy crouton-type thing) and a few soup mixes. Now the stores are flooded with Passover snacks, cereal, pasta, cakes, cookies, pizza and loads of other processed crap.

As a little kid we did keep Kosher in the house, but we've gone to the dark side. I don't keep a Kosher home. I like bacon too much. I also don't rid my house of "chametz" which is any of the leavened-bread type products that you are supposed to get rid of before Passover. But while I may not be the most observant Jewish person, I do like to celebrate.

I love cooking for Passover, but this year I am not having it at my house. I've been relegated to bring a few things to my Aunt and Uncle's house, a couple of recipes that have become must-makes over the years.

First up is Matzo Toffee. It is a recipe from Epicurious, and can be found here:

Matzo Toffee

It starts off as all delicious toffee does with butter and brown sugar. Do NOT use margarine, it does not taste the same....

After that boils together for a few minutes it gets poured over a cookie sheet lined with matzo

It bakes in the oven for about 12 minutes, and then is sprinkled with chocolate chips

After the chips soften they are spread over the matzo. You can add other toppings over the chocolate if you want. I tried a rocky road mixture that I saw on Pinterest this year. It isn't something I plan on making again. It was just kind of eh. No point in messing with perfection.

Once it all cools in the fridge it is broken into pieces and that's it! It keeps for a week in the fridge, but it will be gone sooner than that. Trust me.

Here is the finished product along with the next recipe:

The next dish actually is an Auntie Ina recipe, from her Barefoot Contessa Family Style book.  Coconut Macaroons. Way better than the kind in a can, but they do contain dairy for those who are observant of Kosher dietary laws. I haven't been Kosher since the late 70's so I'm all over it. They taste like the coconut patties that they sell at the airport in Florida. For those of you who haven't traveled to South Florida to visit parents or grandparents, then they taste like Almond Joy or Mounds! Easy to make with only 4 ingredients!

Sweetened coconut, vanilla, condensed milk and egg whites. That's it! Here are the stiff egg whites about to be folded into the coconut, milk and vanilla.

After baking them on parchment and letting them cool, I like to dip at least half of the batch into melted chocolate. You'll never want to eat one of those canned Passover macaroons again. Unless you have to, and in that case I'm sorry.

If you are celebrating Passover, have a Zissen Pesach. I know mine will be bittersweet because I won't be with my parents. Spring break doesn't coincide with Passover this year, and life doesn't stop here in Connecticut for the holiday like it did when I was growing up in New York so we won't be together.  Of course this is the year my mother decides to actually cook an entire seder and not cater it and I can't be there!

If you don't celebrate Passover like me and Auntie Ina....these macaroons are just as good for Easter! And as for the matzo toffee, you don't have to be Jewish to eat matzo. I remember my Italian/Polish friend's mother always had a box in the house. I think she ate it with cream cheese and ham. Why not? To each their own, right?

Happy Holidays!

It's Game On, Bitches!

Tonight was the Beef Bourguignon throwdown.

Barefoot Contessa Filet of Beef Bourguignon from the original Barefoot Contessa cookbook vs. Barefoot Contessa Beef Stew Bourguignon Frozen Entree for Two.

You'll be seeing the word Bourguignon quite a bit in this post. It is a very difficult word to spell, and once you look at it for more than a minute it just looks funny. It sounds funny. After this challenge, I hope to not have to write or say it for a long time!

Contender #1

Filet of Beef Bourguignon.

Here are the pearl onions that have just been blanched. Let me tell you....NOT worth it. Apparently the ones you can buy in the freezer are just as good as using fresh ones. I wanted to be true to the recipe and Auntie said that they were easy to peel if you threw them in boiling water first. Not true. I HATE pearl onions. I don't like blanching them. I don't like peeling them. I don't like eating them. Yuck.

Mushrooms sauteeing in the pan:

 Wine, thyme, garlic, tomato paste and veggies cooking away:

Finished product:

It was a fairly easy, quick, but expensive recipe. Serves 6-8, so the calories fall between 600-800.

Contender #2

A bag of frozen food:

Inside the bag were small pouches. One with the sauce, the other with chopped parsley. Plus a bonus coupon for $2 off your next purchase of two Barefoot Contessa meals. As if!

This was the meal dumped into the pan:

And the sauce that suspiciously looked like the contents of a diaper:

The finished product:

Obviously, the two dishes look nothing alike. But how did they taste?

We did a blind taste test with the two dishes, and if Jeffrey can't tell the difference like Auntie claims then he must have had some sort of accident that affects his taste buds. It was painfully obvious which was fresh and which was frozen.

While the frozen meal wasn't completely disgusting, it in no way compares to a freshly cooked meal. My friends had the analogy that it was comparable to a "gourmet meals on wheels" dish. The meat was tender and flavorful until the finish where you got hit with a heavy salt and pepper taste. No wonder, when the sodium in the frozen dish has 65% of your daily recommended intake. The package also did not expire until May of 2014 so I presume all of that salt was keeping it from going bad. The carrots tasted like frozen carrots, but the onions could not be distinguished from the fresh ones. The sauce tasted heavily of mushrooms. And salt.

The fresh meal was amazing. The filet was like buttah, the sauce was sop it up good. We all enjoyed the mushrooms and carrots, but I think everyone could take or leave the pearl onions. While they gave good flavor to the dish, the texture just grosses me out. Like when you go to a haunted house for Halloween and there is a bowl of peeled grapes passing for eyeballs. That is what the pearl onions remind me of. This was the first time I have actually eaten one, and while it tasted fine I have no desire to ever eat one again.

The verdict?

Ina Garten is insane for referring to this as a "fresh dinner." If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...its a frigging duck. Its frozen food that is marginally better than Stouffer's. I guess if you are in the mood for Beef Bourguignon, can't cook, and don't have blood pressure issues, this may work for you.

The fresh dish is delicious and I am glad that I made it. That being said, I have no plans to make it again anytime soon. Its expensive and rich and something that you drag out for a special occasion.

There you have it. Obviously the fresh meal is better than the frozen. Of course, there isn't always time to cook a fresh meal and eating frozen food is a perfectly acceptable alternative. But seeing Auntie's face beaming at me from a bag of crap in the freezer is just plain wrong in my book. I've always associated her with fresh and flavorful cooking. Seeing that plop in a pan has really messed with me. It's like Carrie Bradshaw wearing shoes from Payless. Not plausible.

Auntie, Elmo, and Guacamole

Four days later and I am still trying to get the smoke smell out of my house. Needless to say I have not been too excited about cooking anything since the Pecan Squares debacle.

I needed some inspiration, or just a kick in the ass. Who would have thought that it would be Elmo that did it?

Yes, THAT Elmo. Little, furry red monster Elmo.

Let's go back a few weeks....

On my son's birthday we had a great visit with a friend that works for Henson/Sesame Street. We got to see all kinds of cool and creative things at their workshop in Queens. The most exciting being some old friends....

We also got to see some props that our friend created. One of the items that caught my son's eye was a bowl of fake guacamole. I'm not sure what the attraction was, but he thought it was pretty cool.

Fast forward to a few days later when he asks if I could tape an episode of Sesame Street for him. Strictly for research purposes, now that he's been to the workshop. He wants to compare and contrast. Personally, I think it was for business AND pleasure. Who doesn't like to go back and watch Sesame Street?

To our surprise, the episode that I had taped included this:

The famous bowl of guacamole! Who knew?

There was a whole segment about Elmo making some guacamole. I wasn't paying much attention to it until the kiddo asked me if we could make some guacamole. Ummm, WHAT? I had to have him repeat himself because I could not believe what I was hearing. This is a child who is not a big fan of trying new foods and has a long history of hating avocado. 

Observe:

Yes, this was the reaction we got to trying avocado for the first time. It has been avoided like the plague ever since. So when he asked to try it again, I jumped at the chance!

I remembered that Auntie had a recipe for guacamole in the Barefoot Contessa book, and I was completely amenable to the fact that it did not involve anything that could potentially burn or catch fire. The kiddo wanted to use the recipe he heard on Sesame Street, but I needed to knock another Ina off my list. Auntie won out this time.

I assume it was a pretty basic guacamole recipe. Avocado, lemon, red onion, hot sauce, tomato. No cilantro in this one. It came together pretty quickly. I appreciate the fact that Ina calls for sprinkling the chopped tomato on top of the guac, because if there is one thing that skeeves me out it is raw tomato. I have no problem with sauce, ketchup, or sun-dried. But raw? Yuck! Fortunately I was able to flick them off of my portion. And for those keeping count, 173 calories a serving.

Amazingly, the kid tried it out and seemed to like it. He didn't have more than a few bites, but considering his initial reaction to avocado, we were really pleased! A few days later we went to a Cuban restaurant and ordered some guacamole with plantain chips. He went to town with that, and I must admit it was much better than Auntie's recipe!

So there you have it. Guacamole. It doesn't burn. Elmo likes it. Kids who previously hate avocado can change their mind, and even Auntie loves Sesame Street...

Karma's A Bitch....Because it Couldn't Possibly Be Auntie!

Yep, Karma.

I wonder if my nightmare with the Pecan Squares last night happened because I publicly disparaged Auntie Ina and her frozen food? Did some kind of Hamptons Higher Power decide that I needed to be punished for my rants?

Let's start at the beginning.

Every year my husband's company sponsors a fundraiser for a local hospital and their cancer center by having a bake sale. This year I decided to use the occasion to knock off another one of the desserts from the cookbook. This one in particular was never a favorite of mine. The calorie count is off the charts and has enough butter in it to make even Paula Deen say "OH Hell, No!"

Pecan Squares. With NINE sticks of butter. Yes. You heard me. NINE. Five in the dough and four in the filling. Never mind the honey, brown sugar, heavy cream and pecans. I am afraid that I may have given some poor person at the bake sale a heart attack today. Or poisoned them. Not sure.

It was easy enough to make the base of the bars. I pressed all of the dough into a jelly roll pan lined with parchment. I par-baked it just as Ina said. I made the filling on the stove, poured over the cooled dough, and popped in the oven.

I must have been distracted by the television. You see, it is Justin Timberlake week on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon. I faithfully DVR Jimmy every night, but when you throw Justin in the mix I am very easily thrown for a loop. They are my absolute favorites! So....a marching band could have been going through my living room and I probably would not have noticed because I was too busy mooning and swooning over Jimmy and Justin. Maybe I should have been paying more attention to the oven, but I did not notice the smoky odor coming from the kitchen until J&J were finished with whatever they were doing.

Opening the oven door led to plumes of smoke billowing out into the kitchen and quickly spread to the rest of my house. Despite the freezing temperatures windows were opened, candles lit, and curses were tossed out very liberally.

All of that butter, sugar, honey and such boiled up and bubbled over the side of my pan onto the oven floor. I could just hear Auntie laughing at me from her new East Hampton library.

I was able to salvage the pecan bars, although they did have a vaguely smoky taste to them. Since they were ridiculously expensive to make (2 pounds of pecans alone are about $20) I wasn't going to toss them.

So, laugh it up Auntie. You got me. I made fun of your frozen food venture and now your 900-calorie, butter laden, $20 in pecans-having bars vomited all over my oven and stunk up my house. I get it. Don't mess with Ina.

Here is the link in case you feel like throwing a lot of money away, eating WAY too many calories, clogging your arteries and ruining your oven:

Pecan Squares (You've been warned)

Pecan Squares

Cross section

Back in the Saddle Again

Ok, I've calmed down a little bit from yesterday's news about Auntie's foray into frozenville. I am still not happy about it, but I promised to cook on.

After I burned the base of the Homemade Granola last week, I still had all of the dried fruit that went with it sitting in a bag. Now that I have joined the land of the living again, I decided it was time to tackle it one more time.

Here is a shot of the oats, coconut, and almonds before they are coated with a mixture of oil and honey:

Looks good when it isn't burned, right?

After its baked for WAY less than the 45 minutes she suggests it gets cooled on a cookie sheet. Once it was ready I added the chopped apricots, figs, cherries, cranberries and cashews. It makes a large amount and should keep for at least a week in a sealed container.

According to My Fitness Pal there is about 340 calories in a half cup serving. Granola is typically a calorie bomb, so it's not so shocking.

In other news, I did get over to ShopRite today and found Ina in the freezer. I was the crazy lady who was taking photographs of the nutritional labels in the middle of the aisle. While I was at least glad to see that the ingredients listed in the few different varieties they had weren't things that I could not pronounce, it is still shocking and disappointing seeing Auntie's face peering at me from between the Bertolli and Lean Cuisine pouches. I'm so ashamed.

I can't let that take away from the fact that the majority of Ina's recipes are winners. Including this granola. It is delicious. The figs are my favorite part, but I am assuming you can play around with any kind of dried fruit. If you have a Trader Joe's nearby it is the best place to get all of your dried fruits and nuts for a decent price.

Here's the recipe:

Homemade Granola

Auntie Needs an Intervention, and I Need A Drink...

Oh. My. F-ing. Goodness.

Pardon my language, but I am SHOCKED!

Auntie has gone and done something that is absolutely HORRIFYING!

Way beyond my wildest dreams. Waaaaaay worse than anything I could have imagined.

Are you ready?

You may need to sit down. Have a drink. Brace yourself.

Ina Garten (I can't even bear to refer to her as Auntie at the moment) has gone and sold out completely. Not like her mixes for Stonewall Kitchen that sell at Crate and Barrel. Those I think are ridiculous and unnecessary but not beneath her completely. This is just unspeakable.

Frozen food, people. Sold at WALMART!

First of all, I despise Walmart. It's disgusting in so many ways. Call me a snob, I don't care...but I can't stand that place. I am strictly a Target girl.

Know who peddles their crap at Walmart? Paula Deen and Guy Fieri. Even Giada knew to stick to Target when she decided to sell her crap.

The only place that's lower than Walmart is the Dollar Store.

This is serious, people.

I think Ina needs an intervention. Could you picture her rolling into Walmart in her BMW convertible to go shopping and grabbing a few bags of frozen meals? Would she serve them to Jeffrey? Or her gays? Or the workmen? I just don't see it.

Believe me, I use frozen food. I have nothing against it. But, there is something not right about the words "Barefoot Contessa" and "frozen food" together.

Here are the details:

Bestselling Cookbook Author and Food Network host Ina Garten launches Barefoot Contessa Sauté Dinners for Two

(East Hampton, NY, February XX) Ina Garten is pleased to announce the launch of Barefoot Contessa Sauté Dinners for Two, available this Spring in the freezer section of grocery stores nationwide. Based on Ina's favorite recipes and using the best quality ingredients, the dinners can be prepared at home in a sauté pan in about 10 minutes.

"Sometimes even the Barefoot Contessa doesn't have time to cook," Ina says. "I've already grilled the chicken, grated the cheeses, simmered the sauce, and chopped the fresh herbs, so in minutes you can make a freshly prepared dinner for your family. How easy is that?"

Dinners include Barefoot Contessa Penne Pasta with 5 Cheeses, Sesame Chicken & Noodles, Beef Stew Bourguignon, Tequila Lime Chicken, Shrimp Scampi & Linguine, Creamy Chicken Stew, Pasta Carbonara with Pancetta, Garlic & Ginger Chicken, and Jambalaya. The dinners for two will retail for approximately $8.99.

Ina has been closely involved in every step of creating her Barefoot Contessa Sauté Dinners for Two, and she also includes serving suggestions to make each dinner taste "Even Better." The dinners are prepared by Contessa Premium Foods Inc in its LEED-Gold-Certified "green" plant.

"Nothing tastes better than a freshly cooked dinner with great ingredients," says Ina. "Your family will think you're brilliant."

About Ina Garten, Barefoot Contessa
Ina Garten is the author of eight New York Times bestselling cookbooks, including the latest Barefoot Contessa Foolproof, which spent nine weeks at #1. Ina is the Emmy award-winning host of the Food Network Show Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics. She lives in East Hampton with her husband Jeffrey.

So. There you have it. I'm still somewhat speechless. Of course, I will look at ShopRite for them (because you can't pay me to step into my raggedy-ass local WalMart) and buy one just so I can write about it.

Despite the fact that I think she's a total sellout now, I am going to continue cooking from her book. She really does have great recipes...but she should have quit while she was ahead. Guess Auntie needs a new vacation home in Napa after her trip there? I can't imagine why else she'd stoop so low.

Ina Giveth, and the Stomach Flu Taketh Away...

It seems burning the granola was not the worst part of my day on Friday.  I ended up with a stomach virus. Yep. Good times.

When in the middle of cooking your way through a cookbook, one thing you wouldn't want to have happen (besides ruining the food) is getting a stomach bug. Obviously laying on the bathroom floor and wanting to die is the worst part of it all. Mercifully it passes in 24 hours or less, but the memories and exhaustion like to linger.

The thought of anything other than crackers or pretzels is making my stomach turn 48 hours later, so the idea of the ingredients still sitting in my refrigerator for the meatloaf, squash, and potatoes is just unthinkable at the moment. Even typing this is causing me to get a little queasy.

I did try to watch the newest episode of Barefoot Contessa that was on yesterday. Auntie was celebrating the completion of a new library she had built in the barn of her East Hampton home. She was making a party for the people that helped make it happen. I must have really poor etiquette, because if anyone ever does work on my house they're lucky if they get a red plastic cup with some water in it.  Well, as soon as I saw she was  making mussels, mashed chick peas, and caponata I had to turn it off. I'll have to try again when I'm not feeling so compromised.

I am hoping to get back into the kitchen tomorrow, even if it's to start with just the Fingerling Potatoes.

The upside of it all? Whatever weight came on the first week and a half of the Auntie Ina project is now gone! I'm wondering if when I start to get my appetite back if I should just turn on an episode of Guy Fieri? Watching him always seems to make me feel sick. Hmm, maybe I'm onto something?

In the meantime, here is Auntie's new library....since I can't bear to post any food shots:

Like many others of her generation she still is using her cd collection, I see. I'd bet money that there is some Neil Sedaka, Barbara Streisand, Celine Dion, Barry Manilow, Johnny Mathis and Bette Midler in there. For some reason I just picture her having the same taste as the rest of my older, Jewish, Long Island family does. I know she talks about enjoying some instrumental and world music but I bet when Jeffrey comes home on a Friday night for his roast chicken, there's some "Chances Are" by Johnny Mathis playing in the background somewhere while they sit and eat!

Burnt Offerings

So, last week I wrote about the cake fail that I had. Fortunately the cake that got partially stuck in the pan was just a box mix cake. Annoying to have to start over, but easy on the wallet. A box of Duncan Hines, a few eggs and some oil aren't a financial hardship. It also helps to have a husband who was on the way home from work and able to pick up another box so I didn't have to run out!

But what happens when you have a fail that isn't so easy to fix? A Barefoot Contessa fail is NOT the same as a Duncan Hines fail.

I am learning this the hard way this morning with Homemade Granola.

Despite the fact that I followed the recipe to the letter...we've got some issues. I had to combine oats, coconut and almonds in a bowl and add a mixture of honey and oil. This was spread on a baking sheet and put in the oven. Auntie said bake for 45 minutes until golden brown, stirring occasionally. So, I set the timer for 15 minutes and figured I would stir then. No problems. Smelled AMAZING. Set for another 15, and when I went to stir I noticed it was getting golden so I did not set for another 15...I cut it down and gave it 10. Well, that was maybe 5 too much. Or even 7 too much. I'm not sure. All I know is that I had an overdone mess on my hands.

It didn't catch fire (I've done that before), or set off the smoke alarm (did that too), but its overcooked. Too dark. Smells burned. Dammit.

45 minutes....IS WAY TOO LONG, AUNTIE! This stuff is too expensive to screw up! I also don't have enough ingredients left over to start again, and since we are in the middle of a snowstorm I can't really justify running out to get more. So....I bagged up all of the dried fruit and rest of the additions to the granola that I had prepped and walked out of the kitchen. I need to hang up my apron for the rest of the afternoon. I'll go shopping for more ingredients when the roads are clear.

Unfortunately, I can't use Auntie's famous "How easy is thaaaat?" quote at the moment. I'm going to have to go with Scarlett O'Hara on this one.

After all, tomorrow is another day!

Curried Couscous Salad

Today is the kind of day where it's hard to get motivated. It's snowing, but not enough to disrupt anything. School and work went on as usual. I was hoping for a snow day, and had visions of simultaneously cleaning my house and cooking some more of Auntie's recipes. Of course what really would have happened was that I would clean one small area, and be so proud about it that I would reward myself with a computer break. We all know that short "break" would end up spiraling into something longer. I'm wondering if I don't need an intervention. Between Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and the random blogs and news sites I check daily, I lose more time than I should. Technology is amazing, but I do wonder how our lives suffer because of it?

But this isn't about that, is it? Where's the food???

So, I have the ingredients laying around to make granola, carmelized butternut squash, turkey meatloaf, and fingerling potatoes. But the other thing that is laying around is me. On the couch.

Fortunately I had made something the other day and saved it for a time where I needed a blog post. A dish I have made quite a few times in the past. It's not necessarily a great dish for cold weather...I usually make it in Summer for outdoor eating. G and I enjoy it though any old time, so I busted out the Curried Couscous Salad.

Not everyone is a curry fan. I know I hated it when I was a kid. But the curry in this recipe just gives it a little kick. It is super easy to make, and my favorite part is that there are no pots involved! Just boil some water, pour over the couscous, let stand for a few minutes, fluff it up and add the rest of the ingredients. Some currants, almonds, diced carrot, red onion, and scallion. The moisture comes from a mix of olive oil, plain yogurt, white wine vinegar and spices. Its great at room temperature or cold.

I imagine Ina sold a lot of this at the Barefoot Contessa shop. It's been closed for ten years now, but before it did I was lucky enough to get over there to do some taste testing. My parents drove us out to East Hampton and I picked out all kinds of goodies to compare and contrast to what I had cooked from the book! She really does put those extra a's in faaaabulous.

As for the calorie count...295. Here's the recipe, darlings.....

Curried Couscous Salad

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Apparently My Fitness Pal and Auntie Ina are not friends at all.

For those that don't know, My Fitness Pal is a free app for smartphones that will allow you to track your daily calorie intake, keep a food diary, and record your exercise. It is a great tool....if you use it regularly. When I was keeping up with it on a daily basis I was able to lose over 20 pounds.

Then the holidays happened. January 1 is supposed to be the prime time for resolutions, yet I somehow rebelled against that notion. I was just hanging out at a plateau for a while and I was ok with it. Then it started to turn into a slow gain. I figured I would buckle down and knock it off and it would be no big deal. Then....Auntie came around.

As much as I am loving this project of cooking my way through Barefoot Contessa, it is not a friend to my weight loss journey. Some of Auntie's recipes are surprisingly pretty healthy...but many of them are major calorie bombs. So....when I got on the scale this morning after cooking/blogging for a week and a half I had a nasty surprise. Too much cooking, not enough accounting for what I was eating. I really can't blame Auntie Ina...it's all my doing.

In order to keep up the blog AND keep up weight loss I have decided to calculate the calories in each recipe. My Fitness Pal allows you to plug in the ingredients and serving size and it will give you stats. I don't know if they are 100% accurate, but it will at least give a good idea of what we are dealing with here.

Let's give an example....

Last week I baked Auntie's Banana Crunch Muffins. Oh, were those delicious! I plugged them into My Fitness Pal and found that they have 357 calories. Not great, but nowhere near as horrific as the 956 calorie Pecan Bars that I will have to make (and immediately remove from the premises).

Here is Snow White as she contemplates eating that Banana Crunch Muffin. I can just hear her now... "Oh, dear? Should I eat this delicious muffin? I think I shall...but then I will be sure to eat something healthy later. Like a nice, shiny apple...."

Yes, I know. I'm a dork.

So, the moral of the story is that Auntie can wreak havoc on a healthy lifestyle...but only if I let her. I am going to try to make room for both by cooking her recipes but accounting for them on My Fitness Pal, and then maybe we can all get along!

Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit

No, this post isn't about gas. I suppose there could have been a good gas story had I actually eaten a bowl of this bean soup...but I didn't have more than a spoonful or two. Let me tell you why...

I knew it was bound to happen, but I didn't expect it so soon....

I had an Auntie Ina fail.

Since it was chilly and grey out, I decided to make soup. The Roasted Potato Fennel soup was a big hit last weekend. There were at least 5 other soup recipes to try out in the book, so I chose Rosemary White Bean. It seemed just right for a dreary day.

The first thing I noticed about the recipe was that Auntie wanted me to soak the beans for the soup overnight. I have never soaked beans before, I always just used the kind in a can. Believe me, I was tempted to skip the process but figured that the point of cooking through this book was to follow the recipe to the letter and do things just as Auntie Ina suggests.

So, I dumped a pound of white beans into a bowl, covered them with water, and stuck them in the fridge last night.

The rest of the ingredients were simple enough. Onion, garlic, broth, rosemary, bay leaf, salt and pepper. Still wondering what magic those soaked beans would bring versus my canned ones, I started cooking this afternoon.

I sauteed the onions and garlic in olive oil. After they were translucent, I added the beans, stock, rosemary, bay leaf, salt and pepper. All she wanted me to do was bring to a boil and then let simmer.

This sounds way too easy. There has to be more, right?

In the meantime I decided to make the Parmesan Croutons to go with the soup. Sliced baguette brushed with olive oil, salt, pepper and Parmesan baked in the oven.

Those came out of the oven looking gorgeous. Even the kiddo liked them despite the fact that he isn't a cheese fan.

Here is the recipe for those:

Parmesan Croutons

When the soup was done I eschewed the food mill again and used the immersion blender. It came together nicely, looked decent enough, and smelled pretty good. I took a sip and immediately was overwhelmed with.....

Nothing.

Seriously. NOTHING. It tasted like a whole lot of nothing. Now I know I didn't do anything wrong. Yes, I could taste some rosemary but other than that it was just blah. I added some more salt and pepper. Still blah. I fed it to my husband, who ate the whole bowl but agreed that it was missing something. His idea was to use some tabasco sauce. I guess you could if you're into that. Not my thing.
I thought it would benefit from some sort of pork product. Pancetta, ham, bacon. Something smoky and meaty. That didn't go over too well with the resident vegetarian. SO.....I have a big pot of blah sitting on my stove.

When I checked out the Food Network site to see the reviews for the recipe I noticed I was not alone. Most everyone felt the need to add something to it. Chicken, sausage, carrot, ginger, celery, etc. No one wanted to vomit from it, but very few thought it was one of her best recipes. Myself included.

So, I am going to write this one off as a dud. Everyone has their off days....even Auntie Ina!

Anything I Can Do, She Can Do Better....

90% of the time I like to use a recipe when I cook. The rest of the time I make things up as I go. There are a handful of things that I can make without guidance that are pretty darn good. Applesauce is one of them.

Yes, applesauce.

Not very exciting, is it?

This isn't the applesauce that you get from a jar. That pale, cold, yellowish stuff. This applesauce is sort of like eating apple pie without the crust. Chunks of apples, brown sugar, spices, a little butter. It's good. Trust me. So when Ina had a recipe for applesauce I always just skipped over it confident that mine was untouchable. I considered trying it out this past December around the holidays, but my friend said not to...mine was too good and she didn't want to have it messed up. So I listened and went with my own concoction.

Now that I am cooking my way through the original Barefoot Contessa Cookbook, I am forced to make Auntie's applesauce. So I did. And dammit, it's way better than mine! Let's see what was different...


One thing about Ina is that she LOVES her zest. Orange zest, lemon zest, lime zest. She is the reason that I own a "zester" and the only time I use it is in her recipes. Half the time I leave it out because I am too lazy to do it or I am out of whatever needs zesting. It certainly isn't something I put in my applesauce. Orange juice is also one of her ingredients. I typically use apple cider. Cinnamon and brown sugar are in Ina's and my recipe. She uses allspice...I use clove and nutmeg. We both use butter. I use a couple of tablespoons while Auntie dumps in half a stick. Oy vey.

The other difference is that I cook my applesauce on top of the stove. I chunk up the apples, toss the rest of the ingredients in and let it simmer. She puts in in the oven and bakes it. I was ready to try it out and compare.

Here are my apples in the dish...note the zest!

I added the rest of the ingredients and put in in my oven. After an hour and a half, I had this:

Not the most appealing picture, but it was amazing how it all came together with just a few turns of a whisk. The house smelled fantastic too. I let it cool for a while and came back to face Auntie's sauce and find out if she really does know best. I should have known not to go up against Ina. It was good. Her applesauce kicked my applesauce's ass.

So there you have it. Here is a link to the recipe if you want to try it for yourself....

Homemade Applesauce