Fifty Shades of Meh

Let me tell you something about cookbook #26 of 99.

It sucks.

I HATE this book.

You would think that my vegetarian husband would be totally into it, right?

No.

Even he couldn't find anything in here that he wanted me to make for him.

This was yet another mother-in-law Christmas present that sits on the shelf.

Until today, where it sits in the give-away pile.

I'm not sure how focaccia can taste like nothing...but if you follow the recipe from the Chicago Diner Cookbook you will surely find out that it can.

It was so promising, the dough rose so beautifully.

The coloring was good, it was dotted with specks of rosemary. What could be bad?

Well, it was pretty lame. It was meh. It wasn't just meh. It was...

And this is coming from a carb addict, a guy who will pretty much eat anything, and a boy who would eat an entire loaf of bread if I let him.

So, bye-bye Chicago Diner Cookbook. We hardly knew ya. And that's ok by me!

Do You Know the Mincemeat Muffin Man? (I'm Married to Him!)

Remember how I had to have the Loaves and Fishes cookbook because Auntie said so?

Well, I apparently also had to have the Tate's Bake Shop cookbook because Auntie wrote the forward to it.

Fortunately, it is much less of a disaster than her first suggestion. I mean, how can you mess up baked goods?

The book is full of some fantastic looking ideas, like Almond Butter Cake, Ginger-Apricot Scones, Chocolate-Nutella Shortbread Sandwiches and Cinnamon-Swirl Bread.

Did I make any of those?

Nooooo.....

My choice may make you wrinkle up your nose.

I made Mincemeat Muffins.

Yeah, I said mincemeat.

Before 1997 I didn't even really know what mincemeat was. I mean, I had heard of it...but had never come into contact with it until my first Christmas with my now-husband.

My future mother-in-law made a mincemeat pie for dessert. I took a bite and forced myself to swallow it. I took another bite to be polite. I also took another bite because my boyfriend was filming me with the video camera and I didn't want to be caught gagging or spitting on film. Through a clenched smile, I believe I muttered the words "It's weird." Ahh, my first Christmas.

Needless to say, I have not touched mincemeat since.

My husband is another story.

Every once in a while, he craves mincemeat. Most of the time it passes without having to indulge him. This year, I figured I would incorporate it into my cookbook project.

Enter, Tate's Bake Shop Cookbook (#25 of 99)....

Out of all of the delectable items in here, I went with the mincemeat muffins.

It was really just a basic muffin recipe with some jarred mincemeat mixed in. I tried to keep Auntie in my head and asked myself "How baaaaad can thaaaat be?"

Umm.

Pretty bad.

Unless you slapped a lot of butter and jam on them...

And then they were somewhat better.

But not enough for me to ever eat a bite of one again.

Now, if you enjoy mincemeat....you would probably like these muffins. Despite the fact that I thought they were gross, I am still keeping the book. Not because it has Ina's endorsement, but because those Chocolate-Nutella Shortbread Sandwiches are going to have to be tested out. You know. Purely for literary and science sake!

Cooking With The Mouse

I just got back from a crazy 3-day trip to Disney World.

I've written about my love of Disney before here, and not much has changed since then.

Loads of walking, lots of food.

I am avoiding the scale like the plague, but plan on starting Cycle 1 over again now that I am home and have been to the grocery store.

Before we left, I got into the mood with yet another one of my cookbooks. This time it is #23 of 99.

Calling it "gourmet" is a bit of a stretch.

It's also pretty old, so some of the restaurants that are in the book don't exist anymore.

I must have bought this one in a Disney haze. It happens sometimes.

Looking for the fastest and easiest recipe in the book, I came across one for banana bread. Sold.

Supposedly this recipe comes from the Disneyland Hotel. We have actually been there, but not to eat banana bread. We visited Trader Sam's, a very cool tiki bar that has some amazing decor and special effects. They're actually building one now at Disney World, and I can't wait to go there again!

Anyway...banana bread.

Disneyland Hotel Banana Bread Recipe
Ingredients
* 1 cup butter
* 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 cups sugar
* 3 cups flour
* 2 eggs
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 2 teaspoons water
* 2 teaspoons baking soda
* 2 cups ripe bananas (Mashed)

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Sift together Flour, Salt and Baking Soda — Set Aside.
Mix melted Butter and Sugar until well blended.
Add Eggs one at a time, mixing well after each one.
Add Water.
Add Bananas and Vanilla — Mix well.
Fold in Flour mixture until well incorporated.
Grease 2 loaf pans and divide batter equally between the 2 pans.
Bake for 1 hour or until center of loaf is firm and a toothpick inserted to the center comes out clean.

Pretty darn good!

Everyone has their own banana bread recipe, but I think this one is worth a try. I threw in some chocolate chips, because why not?

As for cookbook #24, I figured I would get Disney out of the way by having my kiddo make something from this book:

I had picked this up at a Scholastic Warehouse sale. I had big dreams of cooking with my child. When he was very young he would watch Ina Garten with me and say "MIXER! MIXER!" Unfortunately that didn't actually mean he wanted to make anything past cracking eggs.

As he got older, he showed a bit more interest and even attended a cooking class one summer and took great pride in making french toast for us. Not too bad! As for why they also taught them how to make bacon-wrapped cream cheese toast I'll never know...

So, I pulled this book out and handed it to him, telling him to choose whatever he wanted and I would pick up the ingredients at the store.

Mercifully, he chose something cheap and easy...

Essentially it was just chocolate pudding with a touch of peppermint extract, topped with Cool Whip that also had a hint of mint. He added the mini chips as a garnish because I refused to let him color the whipped cream with green dye. I had to draw the line somewhere. It was bad enough we were loading up on chocolate before bed...no one needed artificial colors as well!

I won't bother copying the recipe because if you can't figure this one out you must be my grandmother...who couldn't even make me a packet of Ramen soup when I was little. She told me to wait for my grandfather to come back from the store because she "didn't know how" to make it. Despite the fact that I told her she just had to boil 2 cups of water and then add the noodles for 3 minutes...she insisted on waiting for Poppy to return. She then gave me some Triscuits and cheese. That was as domestic as she got.

Fortunately, I did not inherit her aversion to the kitchen and have now gone through 24 of 99 cookbooks! I am not sure about keeping either one of them, honestly. I am sure one of my friends that has little kids would like the Magic Kitchen. Sadly, we've outgrown it. As for Mickey's "Gourmet" Kitchen? It gets one more chance with me, then it's a trip to Ebay if I'm not impressed!

Do Wagon Wheel Tracks Come out of Clothing?

So, I fell off the wagon.

Not only did I fall off the wagon, I got run over by the wagon.

And dragged behind it.

I don't know if it was the miserable winter we had, or just a general feeling of major disorganization. I just haven't been able to get it together.

Well, here I go again back to square (cycle) one. I'm on Day 3 and finding my way again with the help of my favorite Cycle 1 Italian Egg Drop Soup. And lots of Advil.

Spring break is coming up and I need to be able to put my shorts on without cutting off my circulation.  And then get back to where I was before and go past that point.

I did manage to knock off a few more cookbooks...all of the recipes were super unhealthy and somewhat lowbrow.

I'll share with you ASAP.

In the meantime, I am headed to the kitchen. I have some Eggplant Plop to cook up!