Do You Know the Mincemeat Muffin Man? (I'm Married to Him!)

Remember how I had to have the Loaves and Fishes cookbook because Auntie said so?

Well, I apparently also had to have the Tate's Bake Shop cookbook because Auntie wrote the forward to it.

Fortunately, it is much less of a disaster than her first suggestion. I mean, how can you mess up baked goods?

The book is full of some fantastic looking ideas, like Almond Butter Cake, Ginger-Apricot Scones, Chocolate-Nutella Shortbread Sandwiches and Cinnamon-Swirl Bread.

Did I make any of those?

Nooooo.....

My choice may make you wrinkle up your nose.

I made Mincemeat Muffins.

Yeah, I said mincemeat.

Before 1997 I didn't even really know what mincemeat was. I mean, I had heard of it...but had never come into contact with it until my first Christmas with my now-husband.

My future mother-in-law made a mincemeat pie for dessert. I took a bite and forced myself to swallow it. I took another bite to be polite. I also took another bite because my boyfriend was filming me with the video camera and I didn't want to be caught gagging or spitting on film. Through a clenched smile, I believe I muttered the words "It's weird." Ahh, my first Christmas.

Needless to say, I have not touched mincemeat since.

My husband is another story.

Every once in a while, he craves mincemeat. Most of the time it passes without having to indulge him. This year, I figured I would incorporate it into my cookbook project.

Enter, Tate's Bake Shop Cookbook (#25 of 99)....

Out of all of the delectable items in here, I went with the mincemeat muffins.

It was really just a basic muffin recipe with some jarred mincemeat mixed in. I tried to keep Auntie in my head and asked myself "How baaaaad can thaaaat be?"

Umm.

Pretty bad.

Unless you slapped a lot of butter and jam on them...

And then they were somewhat better.

But not enough for me to ever eat a bite of one again.

Now, if you enjoy mincemeat....you would probably like these muffins. Despite the fact that I thought they were gross, I am still keeping the book. Not because it has Ina's endorsement, but because those Chocolate-Nutella Shortbread Sandwiches are going to have to be tested out. You know. Purely for literary and science sake!

The Blizzard That Wasn't

Last night and this morning, we were supposed to have a massive blizzard here.

Social media was hyped up, all of the meteorologists were calling for 24-36 inches of snow. The electric company called with recorded messages warning of power outages. Our town selectman called with emergency information. The governor imposed a travel ban on all roads. Everything shut down completely in advance of this historic storm.

School was let out absurdly early yesterday, so while I had a window of opportunity I took it. I started at Trader Joe's at 8:00 in the morning. Got provisions like coffee, olive oil, produce and whatever else I saw that added up to $100.

Then I headed to Target. They were completely out of large bottles of water. People were panicking and buying everything. I grabbed a 24 pack of Poland Spring and whatever else that added up to another $100.

After Target I thought I would hit the local grocery to see if they had any gallon-sized waters.

They did not. But I still managed to spend $25 there.

So, $225 later I went home and unpacked my groceries, feeling like I was completely prepped for the possibility of being housebound for a few days.

We had invited the neighbors over for a "blizzard" dinner. This gave me the opportunity to knock off two more cookbooks and use some of the provisions I had bought.

Here are cookbooks number 13 and 14 of 98.....

I'll tell you right now, this is NOT going to be a diet-friendly post.

We collaborated on dinner, and my neighbor brought a baked ziti and salad. I made Auntie's Parmesan Chicken, garlic bread, and Williams-Sonoma Cherry Hazelnut Biscotti. We also had some very bizarre cookies from a Target impulse buy.

I was suckered into buying this because I see Momofuku referenced all of the time in Bon Appetit magazine and other cooking blogs. It's a famous bakery in New York...and now it's apparently in my local Target as a mix. Of course, I HAD to have it. I really wanted to buy the mix that has you add crushed potato chips and pretzels to the cookies but I think the only ones who would have enjoyed that would have been me and Aunt Flo. And if you don't know what the hell I am talking about, well....go ask someone else.

So, I got the "traditional" cornflake-chocolate chip-marshmallow mix.

Umm, yeah. Save yourself the $6. These things were NOT good. That's all I have to say about that.

What WAS good?

Auntie's chicken of course!

Because I was stressing about the impending storm, and had company coming I did not photograph the cooking process. I did manage to get a shot of the finished product though!

Parmesan Chicken

6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 
1 cup all-purpose flour 
1 teaspoon kosher salt 
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 
2 extra-large eggs 
1 1/4 cups seasoned dry bread crumbs 
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus extra for serving 
Unsalted butter 
Good olive oil 

Pound the chicken breasts until they are 1/4 inch thick. You can use either a meat mallet or a rolling pin. 

Combine the flour, salt, and pepper on a dinner plate. On a second plate, beat the eggs with 1 tablespoon of water. On a third plate, combine the bread crumbs and 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese. Coat the chicken breasts on both sides with the flour mixture, then dip both sides into the egg mixture and dredge both sides in the bread-crumb mixture, pressing lightly. 

Heat 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large sauté pan and cook 2 or 3 chicken breasts on medium-low heat for 2 to 3 minutes on each side, until cooked through. Add more butter and oil and cook the rest of the chicken breasts. 

The biscotti were decidedly more "adult" friendly. Perfect with a cup of tea or coffee!

Cherry Hazelnut Biscotti

Ingredients:

• 8 Tbs. (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room
    temperature 
• 3/4 cup sugar 
• 2 eggs 
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract 
• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour 
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder 
• 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon 
• 1/4 tsp. salt 
• 1 cup hazelnuts, toasted, skinned and coarsely
   chopped 
• 1/2 cup dried tart cherries, coarsely chopped 
• 1 tsp. grated orange zest 

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 350°F. Lightly grease and flour 1 large baking sheet or line it with parchment paper. Have another ungreased baking sheet on hand.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the butter on high speed until fluffy and pale yellow. Add the sugar and continue beating until the mixture is no longer gritty when rubbed between your finger and thumb. Reduce the speed to low and add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla until blended.

Over a sheet of waxed paper, sift together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Gradually add the flour mixture to the egg mixture and beat on low speed or stir with a wooden spoon just until incorporated. Mix or stir in the hazelnuts, cherries and orange zest until evenly distributed. The batter should be very soft.

Turn the batter out onto a generously floured work surface and divide in half. With well-floured hands, transfer one-half onto the greased baking sheet and shape into a log about 12 inches long and 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Place on one side of the sheet. Repeat with the remaining batter, leaving at least 4 inches between the logs. (They will spread as they bake.)

Bake the logs until the edges are golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let the logs cool for 10 minutes. Using a serrated knife, cut the logs, still on the pan, on the diagonal into slices 1/2 inch wide. Carefully turn the slices on their sides and return them to the oven. When you run out of room on one baking sheet, start transferring slices to the other sheet.

Bake until the edges are golden, about 10 minutes more. Let the biscotti cool completely on the pans on wire racks. Store in an airtight container. Makes about 4 dozen biscotti.

And that blizzard? 

Well, let's just say we dodged a bullet. I'm actually a little disappointed. I had a romantic notion that we would all be snuggled together for a few days, and want for nothing will all of the storm prep that we did. Oh well. In reality I would probably be stress-eating cookies and wanting to rip my hair out.

In the meantime, I've got quite a stockpile for next time!

Oh, KALE Yeah!

I went to my favorite Whole Foods today to pick up some salmon.

Somehow I ended up with way more than salmon in my cart, but that’s not really a surprise. I tend to get carried away in that store. Not irresponsibly. I won’t pay $6 for a container of strawberries or $8 for a bar of soap, but not everything at Whole Foods is a fortune. They actually have some great sales AND they take coupons, so I do pretty well there.

My one splurge today was a bunch of Dinosaur Kale. It goes by other names as well, like Lacinato Kale or Tuscan Kale. It is bigger and flatter than the typical Curly Kale. It also is supposed to have a more delicate flavor.

There is a recipe in Auntie’s newest cookbook, Make it Ahead, for Parmesan Kale Chips that calls for Dinosaur Kale. 

This will bring us to cookbook #11 of 98.

Let’s give it a go, shall we?

Here’s the kale before I hacked it up:

And here it is when it is all laid out on parchment paper. 

And here’s the finished product:

I can’t say enough good things about this recipe.

All three of us scarfed down the entire batch. It is far superior to the typical kale that I’ve been eating. 

Consider us hooked. Auntie does it again!

Parmesan Kale Chips
Serves 6 

Kale is a delicious vegetable that seems to be everywhere now. If you can find flat kale—sometimes labeled cavalo nero, Dinosaur kale, or lacinato—it can be roasted for the perfect light bite to serve with drinks. It’s simply kale, olive oil, and salt, and it roasts in 15 minutes. Of course, freshly grated Parmesan cheese makes everything taste better. 

1 large bunch flat-leaf kale
Good olive oil
Kosher salt
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Line 2 sheet pans with parchment paper.

With a sharp knife, remove and discard the hard rib from the center of each leaf, leaving the leaves as intact as possible. Place them on the sheet pans, drizzle or brush them with olive oil, and toss to coat lightly. Sprinkle generously with salt and bake for 10 minutes, until crispy. Sprinkle lightly with Parmesan cheese and bake for another 5 minutes. Cool and serve. 

MAKE IT AHEAD: Prepare and cool to room temperature. Wrap tightly and store at room temperature for up to 4 days.

Reprinted from Make it Ahead. Copyright © 2014 by Ina Garten. Published by Clarkson Potter/Publishers, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC.

A Little Bit of Summer in Winter

There's snow on the ground, it was 16 degrees today, and we are all wearing thermal underwear.

I am dreaming of warm weather.

I complain in the Summer when its too hot, I complain in the Winter when its too cold. I can't help it.

Despite the freezing cold, I made a very "Summery" dinner.

Ina Garten's Salmon Salad.

This comes from the original 1999 Barefoot Contessa cookbook, and has always been a favorite of mine. Luckily, it fits in nicely to the 17 Day Diet.

I started with two pounds of fresh salmon. I've become pretty good at cooking salmon ever since I got the skillet that goes into the oven. I start it on top of the stove to sear, flip it over and then finish it off in the stove at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

After it cooked, I let it rest for a bit before I broke it up into pieces. It was really hard not to pop bits in my mouth as I was doing this. It was so good! All I did was drizzle a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper before searing. Yum.

After cooking the salmon, the rest is a cinch. Just dicing up the celery and onion, and chopping the dill. Other than that its a few tablespoons and teaspoons of this and that.

Miraculously, we all ate the same thing for dinner! Even the picky kiddo ate it, and went above and beyond expectations by thanking me for making it.

I'll have to thank Auntie for creating it. Another satisfied customer!

Oh, Auntie. You've Led Me Astray!

There was a time when I whole-heartedly believed in anything that Auntie Ina had to say. Her word was golden. I needed to have the brands that she suggested, I wanted to have her fabulous cookware and kitchen, and I absolutely had to make a pilgrimage to the Hamptons to visit the original Barefoot Contessa store.

Granted, I was all of 26 and still impressionable at the time.

But....if Auntie said it was faaaaabulous? I wanted it.

Until I got the Loaves and Fishes Cookbook.

Loaves and Fishes is a food shop in Sagaponack that opened in 1980 and is apparently a favorite of Auntie. She references their cookbook ALL of the time, and even has visited the store numerous times on her show. Of course, if Auntie loves it so much it HAS to be amazing. Right?

Interestingly, the book was not easy to find. Eventually I was able to get a hold of a copy on Amazon and I was very excited to see what all of the fuss was about. I imagined it would be like a gift from my fairy godmother...because Auntie Ina is the epitome of fabulous.

So, umm. Yeah.

Not so much.

Most of the recipes call for either butter, mayonnaise or sour cream. Even the meats! And it wasn't decadent sounding stuff, it just sounds gross. It's very 1980's and not in a good way.

Lamb, Mint and Spinach Salad. Cheese Chowder. Scallops with Tomato, Garlic and Cream. Calve's Liver with Tarragon Butter Sauce. Sausage and Duck Casserole.

Eww.

It became clear that there was nothing that was going to fit in with the 17 Day Diet in this book. When this happens, my boys are the lucky ones.

They're getting baked goods.

In the Loaves and Fishes book, even the sweets were fairly unappetizing. Yeesh.

I chose something basic...Oatmeal Cookies. Supposedly it is one of Loaves and Fishes most popular items, and it happens to be one of my husband's favorite cookies.

Oatmeal Cookies

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups old fashioned oatmeal (instant will not work)
3/4 cups walnuts, chopped
3/4 cups raisins

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream butters, sugars, vanilla and egg until the mixture becomes light in color.  In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and oatmeal. Add to the butter mixture and blend well. Add the walnuts and raisins, folding them into the mixture to incorporate them evenly. Drop tablespoons of batter onto greased or parchment-covered cookie sheet 2 inches apart.  Flatten slightly. Bake for 10-12 minutes.

According to my husband, the cookies are good. Not the greatest, but good. All I can vouch for is the smell. They smelled SO good.

The best thing about this book is that it is worth a lot of money. For some reason, this $15 book is now going for $50 or more online. I'm going to cash in, because there is no way we are going to be eating these retro, fat-laden monstrosities. Bye-bye, cookbook #6 of 98. Auntie may think you're the bee's knees, but I'm still queasy from just reading your recipes!

The Tides Have Turned

Cookbook #5 of 98....

A little bit of Auntie herself.

Interestingly enough, this is a recipe that I have tried before, but I have NO recollection of making it. I did not recognize the name of the recipe, even when checking the ingredients. I didn't even see the notation I made at the bottom of the recipe:

When it came time to make it, I looked more closely at the page and noticed my very descriptive and potential Pulitzer-Prize winning notation:

Can you see it over there in the bottom right corner?

No? 

I guess that's why I missed it upon first glance. 

If you can't manage to make it out, it says....."ICK."

Apparently I did not like this recipe when I made it. I don't remember it very well. The book came out in October 2008.

My, how things have changed!

Since changing my eating habits with the 17 Day Diet over a year ago, my palate has certainly evolved. Foods I wouldn't dream of touching before are now some of my favorites!

I guess I can count broccolini among them now?

This recipe was quick and easy, although prepared differently from how I typically do my vegetables. Auntie wanted me to boil the broccolini. I have some issues with boiled vegetables. Mainly stemming from my mother-in-law annually murdering a poor head of cauliflower or broccoli at Christmas dinner by boiling the life out of it and plopping it into a bowl.

I know now that boiling for the correct amount of time does not suck the life out of the vegetable. This was a quick two minutes in boiling, salted water. Thanks, Auntie.

After that, its just whisking up a few things in a measuring cup and pouring over the broccolini. 

It was fast, easy and tasted so good hot or cold! 

Action shot:

Keeping the balsamic theme going, I ate mine with my favorite chicken:

Here is the recipe for Broccolini and Balsamic Vinaigrette. I halved the recipe because I didn't want to be stuck with a huge batch. Half made plenty! Enjoy!

Barefoot Contessa Make it Ahead. Let's Review!

Being the Auntie Ina fan that I am, I was at my local Target bright and early this month on the day that the latest of her cookbooks was released.

I hope the recipes are as good as the Photoshop job they did on her face! Here's the real deal….

I still love her though. Neck waddle or no neck waddle.

Curiously, the first recipe in the book is for dog biscuits. DOG BISCUITS.

I'm at a loss on this one. Dog biscuits as the opening recipe. Mmmmkay. Way to set the tone, Auntie.

After the dog treats, the first section is Cocktails. I don't really drink, so the Summer Rose Sangria, Jalapeño Margaritas and Cranberry Martinis are lost on me. But the rest of the chapter was surprisingly healthy AND delicious sounding minus the Truffled Chicken Liver Mousse. Oh, Auntie. Don't make Chopped Liver and call it Mousse. It's Chopped Liver and it belongs at my grandma's house. Feh. But…Parmesan Kale Chips, Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, Marinated Herbed Feta and a Greek Mezze Platter all look like winners to me.

Next we move onto Starters. For soup we have Zucchini Basil, Wild Mushroom & Farro, and Cauliflower and Celery Root Soup. None have more than 2 tablespoons of butter or cream for the entire recipe…a pleasant surprise! A couple of salads…Ceasar Salad with Blue Cheese and Bacon, Warm Fig and Arugula. Spanish Tapas Peppers, Tomato and Burrata, and Bruschettas with Sauteed Chard. Not too bad. I've got my eye on you, Warm Fig and Arugula Salad.

Let's proceed to the chapter called Lunch. More salads, including Crunchy Iceberg with Creamy Blue Cheese, Summer Paella Salad, and French Green Bean Salad with Goat Cheese. Bzzzt for all three of those for me. My palate does not handle goat cheese very well. Iceberg? No. Paella…unfortunately can't do shellfish. There is a gorgeous and healthy looking Winter Slaw with shredded kale and brussels sprouts. Ham and Leek Empanadas and Tomato and Mozzarella Pan Bagnat….neither of which thrill me. Quinoa Tabbouleh with Feta…you lost me at Quinoa and Tabbouleh. Not a fan of either. Lastly, Zucchini and Goat Cheese Tart….second goat cheese recipe already. Not a good chapter for me.

Maybe Dinner will fare better?

Oh, hello Roast Chicken with Bread and Arugula Salad!! Aren't you gorgeous?

There's everything from Slow-Roasted Spiced Pork to Roasted Vegetable Lasagna and Garlic and Herb Roast Shrimp in this chapter. Lots of good looking options.

Vegetables. Love to see a big chapter here. Not sure what Auntie was thinking making a Spinach and Ricotta Noodle Pudding. Again…kugel does not need to have spinach and ricotta in it and belongs back at Grandma's with the chopped liver. Double Feh.

There's everything from Pear and Parsnip Gratin, Stuffed Zucchini, Carrot and Cauliflower Puree, Baked Farro and Butternut Squash to Mashed Potatoes. With Goat Cheese. Again. Stop. With. The. Goat. Cheese. 

Onto Dessert. Now this chapter I have actually made something from. My husband had a potluck lunch and I tested out the Fresh Apple Spice Cake. It was very good. There are Salty Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk Cookies, Chocolate Cake with Mocha Frosting, Blueberry Pie, Tres Leches Cake, Ginger Shortbread and many others. 

To end the majority of her books, Ina usually goes with Breakfast. Make It Ahead is no exception. Overnight Belgian Waffles, Chocolate Banana Crumb Cake, Mini Italian Fritattas, Sour Cream Corn Bread and more. 

There you have it. I linked one recipe in each category if you feel like experimenting in the kitchen. I'm kind of hurt that Auntie invited Taylor Swift over to cook with her and not me. Guess I'll just have to shake it off?!?

Something's Fishy!

Auntie was able to make an appearance tonight at dinner!

It turns out her Asian Grilled Salmon is compatible with my diet, and it is SUPER easy to make. The marinade is only four ingredients. Olive oil, garlic, Dijon mustard and soy sauce.

The salmon is cut into portions and half of the marinade is drizzled on top. It sits for about ten minutes before cooking. Now Auntie cooks this on a grill, but I had other plans for it.

I got a faaabulous pan a few weeks ago. It is a thirteen inch nonstick skillet that can go into the oven. I didn't want to spend a fortune, so I went to Kohl's with a coupon and a dream. Also a lot of patience, because I really, really hate that store. Here is a link to the pan, because it is THAT good:

Food Network Skillet

Anyway....I used it to cook some salmon for the holidays a few weeks ago and it came out perfect and was ridiculously easy to clean up. Now I use the pan for practically everything. It's getting quite the workout.

I decided to cook the Asian salmon in the magic pan. Seared the salmon skin side up until it got a nice brown crust and then flipped them over. Then I was able to stick it straight into a 350 degree oven to finish it off.

Hello gorgeous!

Honestly, I am not much of a fish eater but I am trying to be healthier and salmon is one of those super foods that is good for everyone. I am finding when it is cooked right, it is pretty damn good. With the right pan and the right attitude...anything is possible!

Asian Grilled Salmon

Losing It With Auntie

It seems that my adoration for (almost) all things Auntie Ina has gotten me into some trouble.

It turns out that "How baaaad can thaaat be?" can be quite bad.

So, I need to adjust my relationship with Auntie and break up with the butter, sugar, cheese, good mayo, white flour, chocolate, etc, etc.

The struggle with my weight has been an issue for years.  I was hot and thin for about 5 minutes back in the 1990's but it didn't last too long.  I have a terrible addiction, and food is my drug of choice. It turns out that Auntie is one of my pushers.

I've tried lots of ways to lose weight, all of them at least twice. If surgery was covered under my health insurance I would try that too. After a few months of letting it all go to Hell, I decided to try again. This time with something new. A friend of mine mentioned something called The 17 Day Diet and suggested I take a look.

Perfect timing, as I was looking for anything to come along and kick my ass. The fact that my best friend was along for the ride made it even better. Then roping in another friend just sealed the deal. Because if you are going to be a cranky, detoxing witch....it helps to have your friends in the same boat.

Now here is the question....

What do I do with this blog? I don't want to abandon it, but I can't continue to ply myself with Auntie's delicious but not so healthy goodies. I am actually cooking more than ever, and would love to share it with you....so I think I may make more than just a lifestyle change and go ahead and make a blog change.

But what to do about the title? I am going to have to do some thinking. I do plan on adapting some of Auntie's healthier recipes. As a matter of fact, I have already made one that did not even need any changes....and it was AMAZING!

Here is the link:
Herb Roasted Turkey Breast

I hope you stick with me. Heck, I hope I stick with me! It is quite the challenge so far, but I'm up for it!