The Blizzard That Wasn't

Last night and this morning, we were supposed to have a massive blizzard here.

Social media was hyped up, all of the meteorologists were calling for 24-36 inches of snow. The electric company called with recorded messages warning of power outages. Our town selectman called with emergency information. The governor imposed a travel ban on all roads. Everything shut down completely in advance of this historic storm.

School was let out absurdly early yesterday, so while I had a window of opportunity I took it. I started at Trader Joe's at 8:00 in the morning. Got provisions like coffee, olive oil, produce and whatever else I saw that added up to $100.

Then I headed to Target. They were completely out of large bottles of water. People were panicking and buying everything. I grabbed a 24 pack of Poland Spring and whatever else that added up to another $100.

After Target I thought I would hit the local grocery to see if they had any gallon-sized waters.

They did not. But I still managed to spend $25 there.

So, $225 later I went home and unpacked my groceries, feeling like I was completely prepped for the possibility of being housebound for a few days.

We had invited the neighbors over for a "blizzard" dinner. This gave me the opportunity to knock off two more cookbooks and use some of the provisions I had bought.

Here are cookbooks number 13 and 14 of 98.....

I'll tell you right now, this is NOT going to be a diet-friendly post.

We collaborated on dinner, and my neighbor brought a baked ziti and salad. I made Auntie's Parmesan Chicken, garlic bread, and Williams-Sonoma Cherry Hazelnut Biscotti. We also had some very bizarre cookies from a Target impulse buy.

I was suckered into buying this because I see Momofuku referenced all of the time in Bon Appetit magazine and other cooking blogs. It's a famous bakery in New York...and now it's apparently in my local Target as a mix. Of course, I HAD to have it. I really wanted to buy the mix that has you add crushed potato chips and pretzels to the cookies but I think the only ones who would have enjoyed that would have been me and Aunt Flo. And if you don't know what the hell I am talking about, well....go ask someone else.

So, I got the "traditional" cornflake-chocolate chip-marshmallow mix.

Umm, yeah. Save yourself the $6. These things were NOT good. That's all I have to say about that.

What WAS good?

Auntie's chicken of course!

Because I was stressing about the impending storm, and had company coming I did not photograph the cooking process. I did manage to get a shot of the finished product though!

Parmesan Chicken

6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 
1 cup all-purpose flour 
1 teaspoon kosher salt 
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 
2 extra-large eggs 
1 1/4 cups seasoned dry bread crumbs 
1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese, plus extra for serving 
Unsalted butter 
Good olive oil 

Pound the chicken breasts until they are 1/4 inch thick. You can use either a meat mallet or a rolling pin. 

Combine the flour, salt, and pepper on a dinner plate. On a second plate, beat the eggs with 1 tablespoon of water. On a third plate, combine the bread crumbs and 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese. Coat the chicken breasts on both sides with the flour mixture, then dip both sides into the egg mixture and dredge both sides in the bread-crumb mixture, pressing lightly. 

Heat 1 tablespoon of butter and 1 tablespoon of olive oil in a large sauté pan and cook 2 or 3 chicken breasts on medium-low heat for 2 to 3 minutes on each side, until cooked through. Add more butter and oil and cook the rest of the chicken breasts. 

The biscotti were decidedly more "adult" friendly. Perfect with a cup of tea or coffee!

Cherry Hazelnut Biscotti

Ingredients:

• 8 Tbs. (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room
    temperature 
• 3/4 cup sugar 
• 2 eggs 
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract 
• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour 
• 1/2 tsp. baking powder 
• 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon 
• 1/4 tsp. salt 
• 1 cup hazelnuts, toasted, skinned and coarsely
   chopped 
• 1/2 cup dried tart cherries, coarsely chopped 
• 1 tsp. grated orange zest 

Directions:

Preheat an oven to 350°F. Lightly grease and flour 1 large baking sheet or line it with parchment paper. Have another ungreased baking sheet on hand.

In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat the butter on high speed until fluffy and pale yellow. Add the sugar and continue beating until the mixture is no longer gritty when rubbed between your finger and thumb. Reduce the speed to low and add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the vanilla until blended.

Over a sheet of waxed paper, sift together the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Gradually add the flour mixture to the egg mixture and beat on low speed or stir with a wooden spoon just until incorporated. Mix or stir in the hazelnuts, cherries and orange zest until evenly distributed. The batter should be very soft.

Turn the batter out onto a generously floured work surface and divide in half. With well-floured hands, transfer one-half onto the greased baking sheet and shape into a log about 12 inches long and 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Place on one side of the sheet. Repeat with the remaining batter, leaving at least 4 inches between the logs. (They will spread as they bake.)

Bake the logs until the edges are golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Transfer the pan to a wire rack and let the logs cool for 10 minutes. Using a serrated knife, cut the logs, still on the pan, on the diagonal into slices 1/2 inch wide. Carefully turn the slices on their sides and return them to the oven. When you run out of room on one baking sheet, start transferring slices to the other sheet.

Bake until the edges are golden, about 10 minutes more. Let the biscotti cool completely on the pans on wire racks. Store in an airtight container. Makes about 4 dozen biscotti.

And that blizzard? 

Well, let's just say we dodged a bullet. I'm actually a little disappointed. I had a romantic notion that we would all be snuggled together for a few days, and want for nothing will all of the storm prep that we did. Oh well. In reality I would probably be stress-eating cookies and wanting to rip my hair out.

In the meantime, I've got quite a stockpile for next time!

Oh, Auntie. You've Led Me Astray!

There was a time when I whole-heartedly believed in anything that Auntie Ina had to say. Her word was golden. I needed to have the brands that she suggested, I wanted to have her fabulous cookware and kitchen, and I absolutely had to make a pilgrimage to the Hamptons to visit the original Barefoot Contessa store.

Granted, I was all of 26 and still impressionable at the time.

But....if Auntie said it was faaaaabulous? I wanted it.

Until I got the Loaves and Fishes Cookbook.

Loaves and Fishes is a food shop in Sagaponack that opened in 1980 and is apparently a favorite of Auntie. She references their cookbook ALL of the time, and even has visited the store numerous times on her show. Of course, if Auntie loves it so much it HAS to be amazing. Right?

Interestingly, the book was not easy to find. Eventually I was able to get a hold of a copy on Amazon and I was very excited to see what all of the fuss was about. I imagined it would be like a gift from my fairy godmother...because Auntie Ina is the epitome of fabulous.

So, umm. Yeah.

Not so much.

Most of the recipes call for either butter, mayonnaise or sour cream. Even the meats! And it wasn't decadent sounding stuff, it just sounds gross. It's very 1980's and not in a good way.

Lamb, Mint and Spinach Salad. Cheese Chowder. Scallops with Tomato, Garlic and Cream. Calve's Liver with Tarragon Butter Sauce. Sausage and Duck Casserole.

Eww.

It became clear that there was nothing that was going to fit in with the 17 Day Diet in this book. When this happens, my boys are the lucky ones.

They're getting baked goods.

In the Loaves and Fishes book, even the sweets were fairly unappetizing. Yeesh.

I chose something basic...Oatmeal Cookies. Supposedly it is one of Loaves and Fishes most popular items, and it happens to be one of my husband's favorite cookies.

Oatmeal Cookies

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
3/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups old fashioned oatmeal (instant will not work)
3/4 cups walnuts, chopped
3/4 cups raisins

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Cream butters, sugars, vanilla and egg until the mixture becomes light in color.  In a separate bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and oatmeal. Add to the butter mixture and blend well. Add the walnuts and raisins, folding them into the mixture to incorporate them evenly. Drop tablespoons of batter onto greased or parchment-covered cookie sheet 2 inches apart.  Flatten slightly. Bake for 10-12 minutes.

According to my husband, the cookies are good. Not the greatest, but good. All I can vouch for is the smell. They smelled SO good.

The best thing about this book is that it is worth a lot of money. For some reason, this $15 book is now going for $50 or more online. I'm going to cash in, because there is no way we are going to be eating these retro, fat-laden monstrosities. Bye-bye, cookbook #6 of 98. Auntie may think you're the bee's knees, but I'm still queasy from just reading your recipes!

Barefoot Contessa Make it Ahead. Let's Review!

Being the Auntie Ina fan that I am, I was at my local Target bright and early this month on the day that the latest of her cookbooks was released.

I hope the recipes are as good as the Photoshop job they did on her face! Here's the real deal….

I still love her though. Neck waddle or no neck waddle.

Curiously, the first recipe in the book is for dog biscuits. DOG BISCUITS.

I'm at a loss on this one. Dog biscuits as the opening recipe. Mmmmkay. Way to set the tone, Auntie.

After the dog treats, the first section is Cocktails. I don't really drink, so the Summer Rose Sangria, Jalapeño Margaritas and Cranberry Martinis are lost on me. But the rest of the chapter was surprisingly healthy AND delicious sounding minus the Truffled Chicken Liver Mousse. Oh, Auntie. Don't make Chopped Liver and call it Mousse. It's Chopped Liver and it belongs at my grandma's house. Feh. But…Parmesan Kale Chips, Roasted Red Pepper Hummus, Marinated Herbed Feta and a Greek Mezze Platter all look like winners to me.

Next we move onto Starters. For soup we have Zucchini Basil, Wild Mushroom & Farro, and Cauliflower and Celery Root Soup. None have more than 2 tablespoons of butter or cream for the entire recipe…a pleasant surprise! A couple of salads…Ceasar Salad with Blue Cheese and Bacon, Warm Fig and Arugula. Spanish Tapas Peppers, Tomato and Burrata, and Bruschettas with Sauteed Chard. Not too bad. I've got my eye on you, Warm Fig and Arugula Salad.

Let's proceed to the chapter called Lunch. More salads, including Crunchy Iceberg with Creamy Blue Cheese, Summer Paella Salad, and French Green Bean Salad with Goat Cheese. Bzzzt for all three of those for me. My palate does not handle goat cheese very well. Iceberg? No. Paella…unfortunately can't do shellfish. There is a gorgeous and healthy looking Winter Slaw with shredded kale and brussels sprouts. Ham and Leek Empanadas and Tomato and Mozzarella Pan Bagnat….neither of which thrill me. Quinoa Tabbouleh with Feta…you lost me at Quinoa and Tabbouleh. Not a fan of either. Lastly, Zucchini and Goat Cheese Tart….second goat cheese recipe already. Not a good chapter for me.

Maybe Dinner will fare better?

Oh, hello Roast Chicken with Bread and Arugula Salad!! Aren't you gorgeous?

There's everything from Slow-Roasted Spiced Pork to Roasted Vegetable Lasagna and Garlic and Herb Roast Shrimp in this chapter. Lots of good looking options.

Vegetables. Love to see a big chapter here. Not sure what Auntie was thinking making a Spinach and Ricotta Noodle Pudding. Again…kugel does not need to have spinach and ricotta in it and belongs back at Grandma's with the chopped liver. Double Feh.

There's everything from Pear and Parsnip Gratin, Stuffed Zucchini, Carrot and Cauliflower Puree, Baked Farro and Butternut Squash to Mashed Potatoes. With Goat Cheese. Again. Stop. With. The. Goat. Cheese. 

Onto Dessert. Now this chapter I have actually made something from. My husband had a potluck lunch and I tested out the Fresh Apple Spice Cake. It was very good. There are Salty Oatmeal Chocolate Chunk Cookies, Chocolate Cake with Mocha Frosting, Blueberry Pie, Tres Leches Cake, Ginger Shortbread and many others. 

To end the majority of her books, Ina usually goes with Breakfast. Make It Ahead is no exception. Overnight Belgian Waffles, Chocolate Banana Crumb Cake, Mini Italian Fritattas, Sour Cream Corn Bread and more. 

There you have it. I linked one recipe in each category if you feel like experimenting in the kitchen. I'm kind of hurt that Auntie invited Taylor Swift over to cook with her and not me. Guess I'll just have to shake it off?!?